Cover and Hide?

By now you may have heard about the woman in Utah who is being disciplined for refusing to stop breastfeeding uncovered in her church chapel.

Disapproval of the breastfeeding mother in this case stems from the same reasons given to condemn women in general for their natural, God-given bodily functions. The expectation, mostly from men, is that the breast and vagina must work in secret, behind the scenes, and under volitional control. In effect, when these body parts are not being used for their sexual pleasure, these men do not want to be bothered by them.

Most of us know about the absurd statement by a lawmaker that, when it comes to getting pregnant by rape, women’s bodies “have ways ... to shut the whole thing down.” Similarly, there was a recent case in which a woman was fired from her job because her uterine fibroids produced excessive vaginal bleeding as to cause leaks at work. Her (male) employer, and many others, could not understand why she didn’t wait to go to the bathroom to bleed.

Part of this problem, of course, is a lack education for men. The main cause of that is the expectation for women to “do their business” away from the public consciousness, especially since the biological aspects of womanhood have long been considered unclean (i.e. disgusting). I recall watching a woman give a grand rounds presentation and stop mid-sentence, grimace, and then explain that she was experiencing a menstrual cramp. While that might fall in the “TMI” category for some people, she felt it was important to explain what was occurring instead of giving the impression that she was under-prepared to speak on her subject matter. For many in attendance it was the first time they realized that in the background of life women are juggling the demands of their glands.

Now we have plenty of people, especially men, saying that this breastfeeding mom should have held in her milk and waited to go elsewhere to do her business out of sight. They don’t know what it’s like to get a sudden letdown of milk that is actually NOT under their control, and only intensifies as the child cries to be fed.

To them it may seem a short distance to the mothers’ room (AKA breastfeeding hut), but the time to get there has caused many a mishap. —Which I know from personal experience. (FYI, getting one’s dress covered in milk, and/or publicly squirting one’s fluids through their clothes is not fun.)

It’s also not fun to suffer from social isolation at church. —Especially when your week is already marked by it. Sitting alone in the mother’s room can feel terribly lonely, and even unsafe. To be forced to do so adds a level of shame.

I’ll never forget the day I decided I was never feeding in there again. I had rushed to sit down and feed my child (as one does) and realized the switch to the speaker was beyond my reach after the baby had already latched. It was then that the pungent smell of a dirty diaper wafted over to me. There I was feeling stuck, seemingly punished and excluded from sacrament meeting all because I was performing the so-called “highest and holiest calling” as a mom.

When the mothers’ room is well-attended there are other factors to consider. This space is often used to calm down children who are tired and overstimulated by 3(!) hours of church. If you thought moms could still tune in to the sacrament talks you’re mistaken for this reason.

By now I’m sure you’ve read and been told why covers don’t always work (and can in fact bring MORE attention and exposure to the breast). You may have also been told why some women need to expose more of their breast as this depends on baby's ability to latch, mom’s tissue density and propensity for blocked ducts.

Source
Satan's plan would have us run and hide our bodies in shame.
God's plan endows us with power and agency.

But ultimately those details should not be our focus. We should be more concerned about the unrighteous dominion of this woman’s priesthood-appointed leaders. We should be bothered by the fact that breastfeeding has become so sexualized. When my husband went on his mission to France during one of his first Sundays there a woman got up to bear her testimony, her baby cried, she exposed her breast to feed the infant, and continued on as normal. Was that shocking to him? Sure! But guess what, he got over it. If anything, those concerned about triggering porn-addicts have got it all wrong (as usual), because seeing women as more than their parts is helpful to establish healthy relationships.

So to me, what this issue boils down to is men feeling uncomfortable with having to acknowledge women’s power. The power to perform so many tasks at once, to give and nourish life, and dare to do so without shame, without hiding. Once you see the power struggle for what it is, you will not be surprised that a man wants to exert his authority to prevent her from claiming more power (in the temple). You will understand why some men will side with her bishop and stake president, while those confident in their manhood and armed with appreciation will stand with her.