"That talk on Menstruation"

I wrote this talk on 5/10/20 in less than 2 hours. More like it wrote itself. I delivered it as a sermon of sorts over Zoom to my family of friends in the morning, and to my righteous doctrinal babes in the evening.

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I know we said we’d keep things informal, but I did throw together a talk for today.

A friend of mine, Bryn, noted how most societies liken the image of woman to dainty, fresh flowers, when ironically women’s bodies are hardly like that. Being a (cis) woman involves regular bleeding. Motherhood involves leaking from glands. It’s brutal, it’s primal, and much of that mirrors the Atonement.

Likewise, much of the world prefers to see the cleaned up Jesus. Clothed in white robes, his wounds a mere stroke of the artist’s pen. I grew up in the Catholic Church, as you know, and my Mexican Jesus looks nothing like that. He is bathed in blood, thorns puncturing his scalp, mouth in agony.

How do we reconcile these opposing concepts? Bloody yet pure. Agonized, but powerful and in control.

In Alma Chapter 5 it describes two groups of people who BOTH have garments covered in blood. One is considered clean and washed still, the other is stained with the blood of those they harmed during their lifetimes. I found this interesting because we so often say the Lamb’s (Jesus Christ) blood will wash us clean and “white” but that color description is likely figurative rather than literal. In line with this, we read in Exodus Chapter 29, V 21 that Aaron and his sons were prepared to receive priesthood keys by having the ram’s blood “sprinkle[d] upon Aaron, and upon his garments, and upon his sons, and upon the garments of his sons with him: and he shall be hallowed, and his garments, and his sons, and his sons’ garments with him.”

That changes the imagery, doesn’t it? Much like how our made-for-TV version of childbirth gets replaced by the bloodbath that is labor and delivery once we get to witness or experience it for ourselves.

So why am I sharing this? Well, I thought it might make (insert that dude, we all know that dude) squirm and that’s always a goal of mine. But more important, there are two concepts here that can be life-changing, life-giving.

The first is that this cleaned up, perfectionist version of life, we get to delete it from our files. Life is messy. And this is coming from me, someone who appreciates a neat and clean home, and who keeps her label-maker close by. But what I mean is that so long as we follow what God wants us to do, we needn’t fear what things looks like on the outside. Historically, women have been examples to the world for how this is done. From the beginning, Eve was charged with original sin, when actually she was furthering God’s Plan. Rebekah deceived Isaac so that God’s chosen son would receive His blessing (and Hebrew records indicate she was at a minimum disfellowshipped for this). Mary agreed to be an unwed mother, despite how slutty that appeared. These women, these mothers, agreed to look just as stained as the wicked, because they knew their blemishes came from the Lamb of God.*

A dear friend of mine, Jill Brim, was able to work with a professor of Hebrew studies and he informed her that the verse “Be ye therefore perfect” had been cut off from its original translation, which included ‘… having had all the ordinances of salvation.” Like Aaron and his sons, the ordinances and rites remain important and true, but what we do with that power will not look “perfect” to the world. When done right it will involve dirt under the nails from hard work, spit-up on your shoulder, and a running nose from how hard you’ve cried. These human functions are charity made manifest, which is the greatest power on earth. Those who do not fully grasp the Atonement, who are not aware the Messiah has come and will return, cannot process this imagery so they must codify and even subjugate it with rites like the Mikveh, or fixate on superficial signs like Sunday best.

The second thing we gain from understanding the Atonement’s relationship with a clean show of blood is this concept of Jesus, the Hen who gathers in her chicks (Matthew 23:37, 3 Nephi 10). I had two very insightful moments with my pregnancies. When I carried my daughter, the verse about “bowels full of mercy” became illuminated in my mind and I understood bowels to mean womb. I checked this with Bro. Barron (a Jewish convert to the Church and former institute teacher) who told me that indeed the Hebrew word ramach for uterus was close to remech (as used in the original translation), meaning low, humbled, charitable.  This lined up with the time when I was delivering my first born, and the words came to me that, “Jesus the Father is our language’s attempt to describe male mother.” The Mosiah chapters in the Book of Mormon spend some time on this, linking Son to Father and Father to Son. Elsewhere we see repeated “He has born our sins.”

So here we have Jesus, our male mother, and a life of charity marked by stained garments. To me, Christianity is all about these paradoxes. Of the poor becoming kings and queens. Of the persecuted being called blessed. If we put our faith in Christ we see these things for ourselves. We will receive these truths and powers not as the world giveth, and they will endow us comfort and joy, even and especially as the world around us is in chaos. It won’t be pretty, but it will be beautiful.

Amen.

*It reminds me of a quote from Elder Talmage, Be not afraid of soiling [your]  hands; be not afraid of scars that may come to [if] won in earnest effort, or [won] in honest fight, but beware of scars that disfigure, that have come to you in places where you ought not have gone.”

That Time I Said the Word 'Ovaries' from the Pulpit

This is a talk I gave at church that manages to merge charity and gender equality, in the Sabbath setting:

Good morning brothers and sisters,

I was initially assigned to speak on Moses 1:39, which reads: “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” This verse quotes God as He reveals Himself to Moses, who is transfigured to withstand His presence. And that is what I wrote my talk on before I realized I would be out of town the weekend for which I had been scheduled to speak. I asked if I could be switched to this Sunday and obviously that worked out, but I was then told I should try to fold in today’s theme of the Sabbath. It was back to the drawing board: Moses 1:39 and the Sabbath day, how do I combine the two? I wasn’t sure I could do it until I had pondered much, took it to prayer, and reflected on recent experiences I’d had.

I returned to Moses 1:39 with new eyes. What stood out to me about it was that God’s greatest work centered on the individual. The life of Christ on earth echoes this fact. On the Sabbath day, we read in Matthew Chapter 12 that Christ went about teaching in the synagogue –lessons that I’m sure were tailored to his audience– and healed the sick one by one. We know that we are to follow this example and, that each of us is here today, is proof that we’re trying.

So today I’d like to speak to you about consecrating your Sabbath day for 1) an improved Church experience, 2) that we might heal the sick, and 3) reclaim individual worth.

Before I go any further, I want to make sure to define some terms starting with Immortality and Eternal Life. Immortality is a free gift given to every mortal born on earth. When Christ died and was resurrected, this is what He gave all of us. Eternal life is perfection in Jesus, which allows us to live with God again. The Sabbath, as I’m sure you know, is a day given to mankind to commemorate the day of rest at the Creation, put away our cares of the world, and focus on God.

Now let me take you through a day in the life of the Sabbath as it focuses on progressing towards eternal life:

1) IMPROVED CHURCH EXPERIENCE

It’s Sunday morning and you’d like to sleep in, but you know you have church to attend. Isn’t this supposed to be a day of rest? Funny enough, in that same chapter (Matthew 12), even Christ “walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth NONE (emphasis added).” As you can see, we’re in good company.

So you get yourself together, and any other members of your household, read your scriptures, and come here hoping to make it on time for the sacrament. What better opportunity during the week to focus on Moses 1:39? To remember that He suffered, bled, and died for us that we might return to live with our Father in Heaven. This is also a time to remember what we’ve covenanted, OR what we promise TO COVENANT, at this stage in our lives. Baptism brings with it a charge to bear each other’s burdens, mourn with those who mourn,  and comfort others that we may be filled with the Holy Ghost and obtain that great glory, eternal life. We should reflect on these promises during the sacrament, and carry those thoughts with us to Sunday school.

Now we’re in the second hour of church, the classroom setting. The Bible provides several examples of Christ’s exemplary teaching, which pulls from parables and relies on the Spirit to deliver His message. There are also great examples of the disciples asking good, earnest questions. Then there are the Pharisees. Why do we read so much about them and what they do on the Sabbath day? I believe they provide cautionary tales of how NOT to spend your Sundays, of how one might frustrate God’s work on the earth.  This is worth exploring.

Starting with some background: The Pharisees are a subset of the Jews, or covenant people, during Christ’s time on earth. They pride themselves on their knowledge of the scriptures, tout their lineage, and love the letter the law. They were also xenophobic, not willing to have contact with non-Jews. --Which was, of course, a tricky matter as Roman rule had arrived.  On Sundays, I like to play Bible Videos for my children and in them the Pharisees are typically portrayed as large, prominent, and menacing men who would love nothing more than to trap the Savior in a contradiction to His authority. While my heart goes out to Jesus for having to put up with that, reflecting on Moses 1:39 I am reminded that the work of God WILL roll forth to all lands and all people regardless of what the Pharisees try and do. This makes them look pathetic. Taken in context, I see that their world is changing, power is shifting, and even the scriptures foretell their eventual fall from grace. I can see they’re scared. They’re afraid of the son of a carpenter, a young man, born in a stable to a migrant family. That says a lot. For it appears their words and actions are reactionary (key point: reactionary). And THAT is a trap we ourselves must avoid.

So how do we prevent being as the Pharisees at church? How do we check our insecurities, our hang-ups, at the door that we might cultivate goodness? Ever since President Uchtdorf gave his now popular talk, ‘The Merciful Obtain Mercy,’ otherwise known as the ‘STOP IT’ talk, I’ve given much thought to this. If we are to sustain God’s work and glory, which yearns to bring ALL of us home to heaven, then as President Uchtdorf states: “We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children.” It’s really that simple. In my own case, I’ve found if I think to comment on something in class and it requires a comparison –ANY COMPARISON– it’s going to fall flat, it’s going to shoo away the Spirit. So yes, I’m trying to stop that.

2) HEALING THE SICK

This is a matter near to my heart. Today, as in all times, there are many who are afflicted physically, emotionally, and spiritually including among us.

With respect to spiritual suffering, how do we begin to heal those wounds? This question perhaps brings us to that time between classes or right after the third hour when we’re mingling with people in the hallway. What can we do during such times to alleviate spiritual suffering? Let me warn you that one way NOT to behave is what I’ve observed to be a “Hunger Games” approach to the Gospel. Mind you, I have not seen an episode of this show, but from what I gather it has to do with survival of the fittest, last man standing wins… Let me be clear, caring only about yourself in your journey towards eternal life while others lie wounded along the road is a sure way to bring down God’s contempt. And we know this, because that’s what, in effect, the tale of the Good Samaritan is about. What’s telling is that in that story, it’s a Levite who’s down and his fellow church members pass him by. It takes a Samaritan, one of the “undesirables” in society, to extend charity, or the love of Christ. Returning to Moses 1:39, if God’s greatest work and glory is our immortality and eternal life, then I suspect standing by idle as one falls away is the opposite of that. What Christ wants, what He demands of us, is that we do NOT dismiss those who are struggling. President Uchtdorf again spoke about this in the October 2013 conference:

“One might ask, ‘If the gospel is so wonderful, why would anyone leave?’ Sometimes we assume it is because they have been offended or lazy or sinful. Actually, it is not that simple. In fact, there is not just one reason that applies to the variety of situations. Some of our dear members struggle for years with the question whether they should separate themselves from the Church.”

Let us not be the one to add to that struggle! If you see someone having a hard time, may I suggest telling them you’re glad they came or if you noticed their spouse hasn’t been to church in some time, tell them they’re missed and ask if it’s okay to pay a friendly visit. Do something, and do it with genuine love.

3) INDIVIDUAL WORTH

Now you’re home, you’re trying to teach your children the Gospel or perhaps this is part of your calling. I didn’t grow up in the Church so I rely heavily on others’ examples as to how to do this.

Someone I love and respect has a ten year old daughter, another teenage daughter, and two sons, so from time to time I’ll request her seasoned advice in this area. As I was asking her about how best to teach our children she told me about her challenges regarding the 10 year old. She said that with her sons, the curriculum is clear. Teach them about the offices of the priesthood and their responsibility in them. With her youngest daughter, however, she was struggling to give her personalized lessons. On one Sunday this sweet child commented that someone had told her she was “needed” at church, but she didn’t understand why because she’s “just a girl.” This statement floored her mother, for here was a girl with no hidden agenda, she wasn’t suing for power, and her comment was anything but prideful. It gave her pause and it did the same for me.

After further investigation it was discovered that this 10 year old girl had received the impression, possibly from her older sister, that the so-called individualized lessons she could look forward to would be ones that happen to hinge upon sexual maturation. --Namely marriage, reproduction, and the covering up of “her lady parts.” And while there are lessons to be had there, no one wants to feel like her value depends on her ovaries. So to avoid this happening to my own daughter, I’m working on two specific things: The first is, I ask myself if what I’m teaching is in proportion to how much it is emphasized in the Book of Mormon, which was truly written for our time. Second, I pull from a unique experience I had when I was living in the city. A church member there (in Chicago) had Turner’s Syndrome, which is a congenital condition caused by having only ONE X-chromosome. (That’s it.) Not XX (standard female). Not XY (male).  Just X ZERO. Interestingly, it was from this person (for whom puberty did not apply) that I learned what God’s love for the individual woman is focused on. Being different, she used her Sabbath days to build a ministry of caring for the ones who felt like they didn’t fit in.  She still had the divine feminine powers of discerning where there was a need for charity and acting on it. Like a mother hen, she took people under her wings. THAT is something I can teach my daughter, teach my children, when we have our precious time together on the Sabbath. Taking it back to Jesus will always reclaim individual worth.

It then appears that the answer at the end of the Sabbath day is the same as it was at the beginning: The worth of souls is great in the sight of God, even the individual person for whom God sacrificed that we all might have immortality and eternal life.