See One, Do One, Teach One

Seems legit.

In the medical education system you start out as a medical student with no real power to execute orders, to a resident physician with the ability to make decisions, order tests, and prescribe medications ... so long as your full-fledged attending physician signs off on them. Finally, after board certification and completion of residency you're the real deal. You fly solo, all power and liability is on you.

In medicine we also have a "See one, do one, teach one" motto. When you're a medical student your job is to mostly observe what the doctors do. You might interview patients and write notes, but those things don't really count in the medical record. When you're a resident you have a bit of a safety net under you and this is when you start doing real things under supervision. By the time you're an attending physician the idea, in an academic setting, is to mostly teach the residents and medical students.

So why am I giving you the inside scoop on how the medical field works? It's because I suspect President Nelson, a physician surgeon, applied these academic principles to Church policy creation and that's how we got The Policy (re: gays and their children) and its reversal. Here's why:

In 2015 President Thomas S. Monson had severe dementia. The Church was being run (as is its policy in such cases) by the combination of presidency keys. We see Boyd K. Packer die in July 2015 and The Policy go into effect November 2015. What happened in the interim? Russel M. Nelson became Quorum (of the Apostles) President (QP). For context, everyone at this time knows Nelson is next in line to become prophet and Dallin H Oaks is positioned to become the next QP or higher (as would become the case).

If we view this in terms of:

apostle = med student

QP = resident

Prophet = attending physician

It would be no surprise then if Russell M. Nelson as QP jumped at the opportunity to use executive power for something that he could say was the will of the Lord, but policy only (i.e. not offical doctrine). This would be practice for the big role for which he was slated. And we know he moves quickly, wasting no time. The Policy would be his "do one."

When the Chief strikes down your order.

But what one man wants and what the Lord wants are often not the same thing.

What was supposed to happen is President Eyring and President Uchtdorf with new QP Nelson, along with the sustaining and authoritative power of the remaining apostles, were to turn their keys in confirmation of what was taught to them by the Spirit.

What I think happened is a couple of things. I think Eyring and Uchtdorf, having worked for some time now without a functional President of the Church, slipped into the mode of "I sustain our [future] prophet." They wanted him to get practice as QP and succeed. Also, let's be honest, they knew they were a geriatric heartbeat away from answering to President Nelson for the remainder of their ministry. I'm guessing that factored in.

I suspect something went wrong right away. For starters, why focus on "the gay issue"? Especially right out of the gates? It seems like Nelson saw an obvious problem between homosexuality and Mormon Latter-day doctrine and wanted to fix it. I don't doubt he sought the will of the Lord, but it appears he landed on the side of legalism. And just who persuaded him to choose justice? Who likely pleaded for mercy instead (but ultimately relented)? I'll let you decide.*

*Worth a thousand words

In the end there needed to be apostolic consensus, but my guess is at least one presidency member drew near to The Policy with his lips for the sake of unity, but his heart (and key) were turned away from it. In contrast, I can see Nelson receiving guidance from someone who was close enough and practically there in terms of having presidential keys such that his input was valued more than it was worth. We see this happen from time to time in medicine, too. Senior resident and 4th year medical student start a surgical case without the attending surgeon and the patient bleeds out.

The patient in this case is everyone affected by The Policy. We can never say for sure how many LGBTQ members died by suicide as a result, but my gut and reasoning tells me the blood of this generation cries out.

The Silver Lining to a Large Black Cloud

I think three big things have/will come out of this: 1) We have learned how to discern right from wrong, 2) We now know which members will accept/reject false doctrine, and 3) More women will be brought into policy-making decisions at higher levels in more official ways.

1) I've said it before and I'll say it again, we must look for the tokens and signs Father promised to send us. When the leaders of the Church teach us a principle we should pray on it, consider it, and feel within us a confirmation that it's true. Then, when we act upon it, we should see good fruit. There was never any good fruit from The Policy. Only bad, heartbreaking, rotten products. Moreover, when it comes to church-wide policy, ALL presidential keys need to turn in agreement. This is tricky because The Policy was touted as coming from a unanimous voice, but I recall discussions at its onset about how this just didn't seem like something a certain key-holding apostle would support, at least not in his heart.

So let's say we were early saints and Peter, James, and Thaddeus approached us with new policy... Stop right there. That's not right. Perhaps the next time it came from the original First Presidency (Peter, James, and John), but they had no tokens and (good) signs to give... Thanks, but no thanks.

We need both: The actual presidency and the correct tokens and signs.


2) I remember after The Policy each and every woman I knew had a hard time with it. Even the most "totally believing Mormon" (TBM) types felt sick in the stomach thinking about babies being turned away. But within the same day of its announcement, these women and their male counterparts posted and preached about how, "if you look at it this way," The Policy is actually about love!

These members were wrong. They are dangerous. They need to learn from this and change.

3) I've looked back at my journal of impressions and the letter I gave my bishopric pleading for an end of at least one aspect of The Policy. My feeling is that this episode has made it clear that women need to be involved in policies that affect the family of God. And since that touches everything, I do expect an announcement this weekend during General Conference.


Closing Thoughts

Going back to that image I've painted of the confident resident and eager med student, I know and I hope you know they had no intent to harm. We also know the outcome was catastrophic. As "ancillary staff" did you take orders and facilitate a wrongful practice or did you run things up the chain to a higher authority?

Next time --because humanity assures us there will be a next time-- let's not accept a broken protocol nor leave the operating room; let's do all that we can. Together. Because now, as President of the Church, Russel M. Nelson is teaching us that we can learn from our mistakes and become better. Much better.

Cover and Hide?

By now you may have heard about the woman in Utah who is being disciplined for refusing to stop breastfeeding uncovered in her church chapel.

Disapproval of the breastfeeding mother in this case stems from the same reasons given to condemn women in general for their natural, God-given bodily functions. The expectation, mostly from men, is that the breast and vagina must work in secret, behind the scenes, and under volitional control. In effect, when these body parts are not being used for their sexual pleasure, these men do not want to be bothered by them.

Most of us know about the absurd statement by a lawmaker that, when it comes to getting pregnant by rape, women’s bodies “have ways ... to shut the whole thing down.” Similarly, there was a recent case in which a woman was fired from her job because her uterine fibroids produced excessive vaginal bleeding as to cause leaks at work. Her (male) employer, and many others, could not understand why she didn’t wait to go to the bathroom to bleed.

Part of this problem, of course, is a lack education for men. The main cause of that is the expectation for women to “do their business” away from the public consciousness, especially since the biological aspects of womanhood have long been considered unclean (i.e. disgusting). I recall watching a woman give a grand rounds presentation and stop mid-sentence, grimace, and then explain that she was experiencing a menstrual cramp. While that might fall in the “TMI” category for some people, she felt it was important to explain what was occurring instead of giving the impression that she was under-prepared to speak on her subject matter. For many in attendance it was the first time they realized that in the background of life women are juggling the demands of their glands.

Now we have plenty of people, especially men, saying that this breastfeeding mom should have held in her milk and waited to go elsewhere to do her business out of sight. They don’t know what it’s like to get a sudden letdown of milk that is actually NOT under their control, and only intensifies as the child cries to be fed.

To them it may seem a short distance to the mothers’ room (AKA breastfeeding hut), but the time to get there has caused many a mishap. —Which I know from personal experience. (FYI, getting one’s dress covered in milk, and/or publicly squirting one’s fluids through their clothes is not fun.)

It’s also not fun to suffer from social isolation at church. —Especially when your week is already marked by it. Sitting alone in the mother’s room can feel terribly lonely, and even unsafe. To be forced to do so adds a level of shame.

I’ll never forget the day I decided I was never feeding in there again. I had rushed to sit down and feed my child (as one does) and realized the switch to the speaker was beyond my reach after the baby had already latched. It was then that the pungent smell of a dirty diaper wafted over to me. There I was feeling stuck, seemingly punished and excluded from sacrament meeting all because I was performing the so-called “highest and holiest calling” as a mom.

When the mothers’ room is well-attended there are other factors to consider. This space is often used to calm down children who are tired and overstimulated by 3(!) hours of church. If you thought moms could still tune in to the sacrament talks you’re mistaken for this reason.

By now I’m sure you’ve read and been told why covers don’t always work (and can in fact bring MORE attention and exposure to the breast). You may have also been told why some women need to expose more of their breast as this depends on baby's ability to latch, mom’s tissue density and propensity for blocked ducts.

Source
Satan's plan would have us run and hide our bodies in shame.
God's plan endows us with power and agency.

But ultimately those details should not be our focus. We should be more concerned about the unrighteous dominion of this woman’s priesthood-appointed leaders. We should be bothered by the fact that breastfeeding has become so sexualized. When my husband went on his mission to France during one of his first Sundays there a woman got up to bear her testimony, her baby cried, she exposed her breast to feed the infant, and continued on as normal. Was that shocking to him? Sure! But guess what, he got over it. If anything, those concerned about triggering porn-addicts have got it all wrong (as usual), because seeing women as more than their parts is helpful to establish healthy relationships.

So to me, what this issue boils down to is men feeling uncomfortable with having to acknowledge women’s power. The power to perform so many tasks at once, to give and nourish life, and dare to do so without shame, without hiding. Once you see the power struggle for what it is, you will not be surprised that a man wants to exert his authority to prevent her from claiming more power (in the temple). You will understand why some men will side with her bishop and stake president, while those confident in their manhood and armed with appreciation will stand with her.